Do you ever have those times when you sit back for a moment and consider your life and feel like you're just playing house? That the life that you are living and walking through each day couldn't possibly be reality? That maybe all of this is just a big game, similar to those you played when you were a child where you assigned who was going to be the mommy, the daddy, & the baby...and maybe even the puppy (if you were playing house with your little brother)?
I have those moments every once in awhile where I think about where I am and it seems that there isn't anyway that I'm old enough or mature enough to be doing what I'm doing or to have the life I'm living. Am I really old enough to own my home (or at least be making payments on it)? Or be married to the man of my dreams? Or be in the process of preparing to welcome a new precious life into this world? Sometimes it all just feels like a dream, or maybe just a very long, extended version of playing house.
Last night Hubby basically forced me to sit down in the recliner and relax while he cleaned up dinner...normally this is a joint effort, but Elyse seems to be taking more than her fair share of my energy lately. As I sat there in the stillness, simply listening to Hubby unload the dishwasher, rinse the dishes, and wipe down the counters...I was reminded at what an incredibly blessed life I have been given.
I remember when we were first married and living together in our very own house that in the beginning it felt a little like going away to camp, or maybe on an extended vacation...except it was our life, our very real life with ups & downs and smiles & frowns and fighting & making up. We weren't playing house at being husband & wife...we were living every second of every day in that new-found relationship. This wasn't make-believe anymore.
As I sat there last night for just a few short moments, with our baby girl doing somersaults & cartwheels in my belly, I was able to pause and consider the fact that in just a little over 8 weeks....life as we know it is going to completely change, to never ever be the same. We won't be playing house talking about our future with a baby, we'll have one of our very own. We have absolutely NO idea what we're doing, but again there'll be smiles & frowns and long sleepless nights & long mid-morning naps and certainly lots of ups & downs.
And prayer...lots and lots of prayer.
We won't be playing house at being mommy & daddy...those will be our new titles and ones that will be permanently attached to us. Names that I will accept with great anxiety & fear, but also excitement & joy at the precious blessing God is about to bring into this world.
And maybe playing house when you're an adult can be just as fun as playing it when you're a little girl.
A beautiful reminder that for us Spring & Summer are moving into Autumn & Winter...a sweet bouquet for Elyse & I from my Aunt Belinda. Some of her last rose blooms before the frost takes them all...
10 comments:
Love this post! Just so sweet! =)
this is such a precious post! :) i often feel that way. time just goes by so fast....and i still feel like a newlywed!
We actually talked about a lot of this in bible study last night. It's 3 of my best girl friends and I so we talk very personal and we were kind of discussing life stage and how, all of a sudden we are beginning to realize that we are grown ups. And that this is all real. We are married, have houses, the 3 of them have children now...it's like all of a sudden we are our parents. Ha! But really, it's fun but also overwhelming at times.
what a lovely post lauren. and so sweet of your husband to allow you to relax and he cleaned up. yes i do look at my life sometimes and feel like i am playing dress-up or house. and i wonder when i will wake up and it will all be a dream except it is not, and i can't believe how much God has blessed me with
I feel the same way a lot of the time! I feel like I'm not old enough to have a grown up job and an apartment and some real responsibility. I always imagined that I would feel much older when all of that stuff happened, but I still feel like a kid!
What an adorable post! I still feel that way sometimes with my husband and we've been married for nearly a year and a half now. I'm really trying to savor this season of life because I know it's one we'll never be able to 'go back to' after having children! How exciting that you're getting SO close to such a life changing event! :)
awww Lauren..this was such a sweet reflective post. it made tear up a bit. parenthood is such a permanent part of our lives isn't it?! most times i feel like hubby and i are having a fun sleepover...but we are adults and life is moving forward..thank goodness we like to laugh with one another!
I love this post because I feel like this ALL THE TIME. STILL! I think, "am I really a mom of two awesome kiddos? really? those are mine?" HA! I'm not sure that feeling will ever go away...but I think it's not a terrible feeling to have. :)
big crocodile tears in my eyes as I read your post! I am so excited for your family!
I adore this post!!! You write so well! I have felt like this before. It seems that time flies sometimes!
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