Tuesday, August 28, 2012

of course i CAN, but i don't HAVE to

I guess it's a good thing that I've learned it early on, and I just hope that I remember it moving forward but let me just put one thing out there...I DON'T have to be a supermom.  If I've learned anything in my short 8 1/2 months as a momma, I've learned that if someone offers help-accept it. 

As Hubby was planning to be out of town this past weekend, I waffled back and forth about whether I would stay at home and travel back & forth to work just as I would if Hubby were home...or, if I would take advantage of the willing, open hands at my parents' home and spend a few days with them.  I honestly didn't make my actual decision until Thursday night as I raced around my house like a mad woman throwing baby clothes and baby food and expressed milk and my own clothing and everything else we might possibly need for a few days in a few bags.  Needless to say I had already broken a sweat before I ever even got to Zumba! 

While I knew that I COULD stay at home by myself, travel back & forth to work, entertain Elyse during the evenings, get up with her overnight, nurse her 4 times a day and feed her 2 meals with solids, get ready each morning while catering to Elyse's needs, etc., etc., etc.  The truth is that I didn't HAVE to. 

As Hubby pulled away from our house on Wednesday night, I quickly called my mom to discuss my possible plans for the next few days.  And if I'm still being completely honest, I was quickly tearing up as I was more than a little overwhelmed about undertaking 4+ days with just me, an 8 1/2 month old, and a 95 lb yellow lab. 

As I talked with my own awesome mom, she reminded me of something so very important.  If I made the decision to spend a few days with them to have some help it didn't make me a bad mom.  It didn't make me any less of a mom if I accepted a little bit, or even a lot, of help from people who love Elyse almost as much as I do.

Elyse will never love me any more for trying to be supermom.  Elyse loves me because I'm her momma, and oh how my heart fills with joy as she is starting to smile her big, toothy grin everytime she sees me enter the room. 

I've decided that there are so many things that I certainly CAN do as a momma & would if that were my only option, but at the same time there are certain things I don't HAVE to do because I am so blessed to have such amazing love and support around me.   And there is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting that help every single time it's offered. 


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Amanda said...

accepting help is something i had to learn to do since E was born! thank goodness for our moms!!!! i don't know what i would have done without her when tim was in mexico this summer! glad you ladies made it!

Sara said...

Good for you! I'm the same way - my husband's had to go out of town for work twice and although I know I could handle the baby and the dogs by myself, I definitely call in the reinforcements. My mom is always happy to come spend some time with her grandson and I get a little break. Yes, I could do it all, but it's also nice to let others help out sometimes. And a happy mom is the best gift you can give a child.

Megan said...

I definitely am so glad that you accepted the help! They probably enjoyed having y'all!!

Kate @ Daffodils said...

I think this is a big balance! I am very open with my hubby that I want to go back to the east coast next simply to have the option of help. you are wise to take advantage of it!

Danielle said...

Totally need to remember this! Love it. We all need the help sometimes and I think it's great to remember that it's ok!