walk and not faint...literally

So I realize I've been a little absent from the blogging world these past few days and trust me...I have a great excuse. You see my most recent dr's appointment from last week was rescheduled to Monday morning because my dr. and also the nurse practitioner were unable to see me due to unforeseen circumstances. So...Monday morning Hubby & I head up to the dr's office for a quick visit and maybe most importantly...the results of my glucose tolerance test.

Well, I failed the test. And yes, those are the exact words the nurse used..."you failed the glucola test." Let me just tell you that the word fail or any variation of the word is not something that a pregnant woman wants to hear. What does failing mean you might wonder? Well, it's not pleasant. Failing means that you are then required to make an appointment at the actual hospital for a 4 hour test. The timeline goes like this...fast for at least 8 hours prior to test, fasting blood draw, wait for fasting lab results, drink super duper sweet glucose drink on an empty stomach, blood draw at 1 hour, blood draw at 2 hours, and blood draw at 3 hours.

Needless to say I was freaking out. I DON'T DO NEEDLES, or blood draws, or really anything that might make me even feel weird. I was freaking out to the point of yesterday having to lay down in the floor at work just thinking about it, like freaking out crying because I was so scared. 4 blood draws in 4 hours...I just knew that I couldn't do it.

And then I remembered something and was reminded of something from so many of those who love me, it's not about me anymore. It's about this precious baby girl growing inside of me and it's about me doing anything and everything I can to protect her. My mom fully believes that she helped me through the blood draw last week and that she would help me through this test as well.

This morning I woke up and definitely didn't feel well. I was feeling panicky already as I thought about what the next several hours would hold. And so I prayed. I had been praying for the last 48 hours. I prayed as I was going to sleep last night and when I woke up this morning. I prayed in the shower and as I was brushing my teeth.

And when I was ready to go this morning with a few minutes to spare, I decided to sit down and read my devotional even though I figured I wouldn't be able to focus on anything but the task at hand. I said a quick prayer that God would show me his power and show me something to give me peace...and this verse is exactly what I found...

Isaiah 40:31~
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Those words were exactly what I needed to read. I realize that God probably had a much more spiritual meaning when he gave these words to Isaiah, but more me today they were very literal. Because from that time forward I knew I could do it. I knew that even if it hurt a little bit or if I felt a little sick, that God would pull me through. I knew that all those prayer warriors who had been called to pray on my behalf were going to be interceding for me in ways that I've never experienced before.

Let me just tell you, God showed up today. For something that might sound simple to so many, this might have been the time when I absolutely needed Him the most, and he certainly didn't disappoint. I was absolutely terrified. He held me each and every time I walked into that lab room and he held me when I thought I was going to be sick from the syrupy drink and he held me at the end when I thought I was either going to fall asleep or pass out from the lack of energy & calories in my system.

He made me strong, even when there was no way I thought I could be strong on my own.